Out of the Mouths of 'Babes'

I always thought Victoria Jackson, once of Saturday Night Live, was pretty cute. I knew the bimbo act was just that (Judy Holliday taught me that lesson early on), but I never knew she was wise. Here's some evidence from her Big Hollywood article:

Sonia and I started talking about the 48 pages of “Hate Speech” I received on The Huffington Post after my last Big Hollywood article. Sonia said, “When people can’t defend their position on an issue, they attack you personally.”

“Yeah,” I said. “I would love someone to talk me into being a liberal. But they can’t give me one good reason. Take socialized medicine for instance, the ‘Health Care Reform’ that the President is trying to shove through the Senate as quickly as possible. They can’t give me one good reason I should want it. I mean, they say it will be cheaper, but that’s not true, because our taxes will go up to pay for it.”

Sonia told me that when she lived in Communist Russia, her friend had appendicitis and was sent to the hospital. She told Sonia that cockroaches crawled over her chest at night. Sonia then went on to explain that with socialized medicine, desperate patients resort to an “underground” system. Deals are made “under the table.” Deals involving your life! She compared it to the police force there.

She said that when you are pulled over for speeding, the police expect you to slip them a folded up bill under your driver’s license. Sonia said, “Did you hear the story about the professor and the classroom? It explains communism so well. The professor told the class that after every test, all the students’ grades would be averaged and all would receive the same grade. So, after the first test, the A students who studied all night and the F students who partied all night, all received a C. As the semester went on, the A students quit studying, and all received an F.”

With no competition, humans reach the lowest common denominator. If capitalism dies, and there is no competition for patients let’s say, doctors will all study and work as little and as poorly as possible…as will hospital maintenance workers. Thus, the cockroaches.

Oh, the insouciance of that last line. Not just cute and wise, but a good writer, too.